A slow death

My heart is dieing. Slowly.. painful…piece by piece like a Chinese drop torture…

Every day is a roller-coaster full of joy and sadness, disappointment and fulfillment, pain and tiredness. And after every day of work, home it’s an oasis of more pain and tiredness that make my brain and my heart scream louder and louder. They are screaming for a place of rest, a warm home, where they could both take cover from the mean words and thoughts beard by the outside world. A place where the brain can disconnect and drop all the curtains meant to protect me and the heart can feel the embrace of love and protection.

And I’m searching febrile this place, in every corners, in every bright and dark corners and I fool myself, hiding behind glowing lights, expensive-scented stages, talking nonsenses and socializing to everyone.

But after reflectors are turned off and everyone gone, the pain of loneliness comes back, hitting harder than before. And I search again. One more time. And then one more time…

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